2010.

So its a new year, which means new things. So I'm told.
I always say I'm going to make NY resolutions, or one for that matter, and I never do or I never stick to it. This year has a lot in store for me, the fact that I'm going to be a mom really makes me want to make changes and stick to them!
There is a lot of things I need to do differently, A lot of people I need to evaluate relationships with and decide if its worth the trouble and drama for me and for other people in my life. I love my friends and family, and Ive really seen who my true friends are new and old, and I'm thankful for all the help and support that they have given, especially extended family, its nice to have all these people that want to step in and be there for me.
If anything has ever been a slap in the face as to how much I need to grow up, or to make smarter decisions, this has been the biggest! I don't mean for it to sound like a bad thing, because I do believe having a baby is a blessing, and possibly a huge one for me, I think everything happens for a reason, I just mean that its a huge eye opener to life in general.
I'm going to have another life in my hands, someone who will be helpless and will need me to be there everyday, and every step of the way for quite some time, and I need to make sure that I have the things that I need to do this, I need to have a strong relationship with Mike because I need him to be there, and I need us to trust each other.
Ive had comments made, comments made by people who know nothing about me, doubting me and having some very strong opinions about this, and I guess my way of getting back is proving to them and myself that I can do this, and I will.
I heard someone say "No New Years resolutions, just change." I think its great, because you can tell yourself all the things you want to do better, or like most people they make a resolution to lose weight, if we would just change some of the things/choices we were making things would be a lot easier and possible. There are times I beat myself down and I'm unhappy, and sometimes I complain about the way things are, and its almost like I expect something magical to happen, or if I just stick around long enough or just brush it off all of a sudden it will just happen for me or change, but Ive realized most things in my life that make me upset are by choices I'm not making to better the situation.
I guess I just feel like I settle sometimes, and I don't want to settle, I want to succeed.