Need,want,desire.

"So, it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? Thirty years from now, forty years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him,Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again, if I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."

-The Notebook

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."

-Marilyn Monroe

( You can find other quotes/pictures/love story's on one of my favorite blogs)

Here.

It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much.

When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost.

There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

Quotes from-2 Days In Paris

What a cute website .

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."-Wizard of Oz

" Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares."-William Shakespeare

Lovely.

What you should know.

I'm stubborn, and the more you tell me not to do something, I will do it.

I don't like to be told what to do or say, so ill continue to do things weather you like it or not.

I will voice my opinion a little more than I should. (word vomit)

I don't take advice when its SHOVED in my face, so if your concerned about the choices I'm making find another approach.

I'm lazy, I have a serious case of A.D.D and I am RARELY on time, please bare with me.

I like to people watch, if that's rude to you, I'm sorry. Its not that I want to make fun of people, but people are interesting.

I like to argue sometimes, mostly when I think I'm right, which is most of the time.

I'm always hungry, and if I haven't eaten ill probably be really cranky. So feed me.

I care too much, and sometimes care too little.

I'm sensitive, I cry, and sometimes I take things too personal, so a JK after a not so funny joke might help.

I like my sleep.

I like my depressing sad love songs.

I like being the center of attention.

I love to dance, and when I'm in the zone please don't air hump me.

I don't get offended easily so don't be surprised when I come back with something just as vulgar to say/do. You shouldn't have tempted me.

I will buy some unnecessary things before I pay my bills. Unless I hand you the money and you take the time to pay them for me.

I am irresponsible.

I'm 23, and still irresponsible.

I plan on doing something about it, eventually.

I'm sarcastic, I love sarcasm.

I get annoyed easily. Please chew with your mouth closed, and don't tap. On anything.

I love music, but I can hardly listen to one song all the way through, and if i do ill probably put it on repeat, if you hate this, don't drive with me.

I hate people telling me how to drive.

I hate the overly loud sigh people let out to secretly let you know they are annoyed, just tell me, because now that you sighed I'm annoyed with you.

I hate reverse psychology. I know when your trying to use it.

I hate when people state the obvious, thank you but I'm already aware of whats right in front of my face.

I don't know you, so please don't call me babe,hun,sweetie,doll, etc.

I do things on purpose sometimes just because I know someone will get mad.

I think I'm the funniest person ever.

I think too much.

I worry a lot.

I keep things to myself.

I like to keep people guessing.

I want everyone to like me.

I don't care if certain people don't.

I'm shy.

I don't like doing things by myself, but when I do I feel so liberated!

I start things, sometimes I finish things.

I'm done.



You might have to take me with an aspirin and a strong drink, but these don't all come at once. Enjoy.

Take it or leave it.

We've all heard the saying "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Well Lately its been a HUGE eye opener, and especially in the "dating" Scene. Its funny how one minute you want this committed, love each other unconditionally relationship, and the next minute you have someone wanting to give it to you, you don't want it. Now I'm in this situation where everything I wanted is something someone wants from me, now I'm the bad guy doing the same thing someone did to me.. not committing, being there, but not as a whole, saying and doing things, but not all the time. I step back and look and I think "this is exactly what the person I loved was doing to me" To some extent.

I don't know what it is, I feel like I'm stuck in this 90% rut, where I'm still searching for the 10% in some aspect of the relationship that I cant find. Do I settle? Do I take the 90% and run? Is it possible to find someone who I feel is 100% of what I want? Even when I felt like I had found my 100% match, when I knew that he was someone I wanted to be with, was it really 100%? No. Because I was 100% not him. He wasn't committing, he wasn't giving me all the attention I wanted, He wasn't WITH me, it was this crazy thing we liked to call a "relationship" but wasn't.

I would hate for someone to feel the way I felt, I don't want someone to put up with my crap, be there, comfort me, tell me how awesome I am, express how much they care about me but not get the same in return.

Why would I want someone to feel the pain that I still feel. I want to give my ALL to someone, I want to have someone cherish me, take care of me, love me, but I know that I need to love myself in order to let someone love me. I'm trying to move on, I'm trying to do things that make me happy, I'm trying to live my life with the expectations that sometimes you cant always get what you want, you cant change someone to be someone you want. Maybe my heart just needs to take a vacation!

All in all, I am happy, and I'm excited to see where things go, but sometimes the past comes lingering in and it stings a little. I feel like ill always be re-applying band aids to temporarily heal the wound. But I take a deep breath, put on my big girl panties and deal with it! ;)

P90X

I really think I'm going to try this out.

Ive never really worried too much about my weight, and Ive always embraced my BIG butt. But now I feel like I need a cover up to go to the pool, and I feel like I cant even wear a normal t shirt without someone wanting to poke me in the stomach thinking its cute. Its not cute.

So since I owe Golds Gym $400 I should probably work out at home. As soon as I get this hot little item in my hands ill keep you posted on how its going!

Everytime...

you call, I cant help but wonder how you still continue to act like it's nothing.
When I know I'm SOMETHING to you... and truth is, this time when you called, I missed someone else. I don't want you to be un-happy, but sometimes it feels good to know that you are. Because for once I'm actually HAPPY without you, and as much as I want to be happy with you, I need to live my life with REAL expectation's. I love you and it's not fair that I don't let myself love someone else.



07/14/09
I wrote the above paragraph over a week ago and never posted it, but now I have more reason too, because our recent conversation made me think. When you said "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? "
I fell asleep and never responded. But I thought about this lately, and I think that as selfish as it sounds I think we should put ourselves first. Why shouldn't we be happy before we worry about making other people happy, or doing things just because other people think its the "right" thing to do. Its not fair to ourselves, or the people we are around, or with, if were only there because were afraid of hurting them, or worried about what other people might think.
Sometimes the wrong thing and the right thing are the same things.
That's what I would have said to you.