Girls just wanna have fuunnn!

DRESS UP!!

I really don't force her to do this... She insists! haha Last night my sister(aunt Kenzie) Came over to visit and play, we of course have to act like children and dance, sing, and take pictures in front of the mirror.. so Harper has to join! The striped shirt is mine, and yes she put it on herself.. for some reason she LOVES it, you can catch her wearing it around the house on numerous occasions....

You should see me try and wear this shirt.. its like I'm the evil sister stealing her clothes.. Again, she does this herself. She is going to be quite the girly girl! Between this and her love for shoes.. seriously who's kid is she? Ohh ya.. mine, oops. haha Just like mommy. We went shopping the other day, and the minute we passed the shoes she was reaching and squealing, and wanting to grab them all off the shelves! I guess that's a sign she wants new shoes. Did I mention she is only 1! ahhh.

She is getting quite the personality.. :)

Bath time.

Word vomit.

Ive been called selfish.. (mostly by the same person).. but yes.. maybe at times I am selfish. Is it wrong to want to do things based on if they are going to make ME happy? Should I sit back my whole life wondering? Should I just do something just to get by because I'm afraid of hurting someones feelings, because i know the outcome might be a little tough...
I try REALLY hard.. I put my heart and soul into being a mother to my beautiful daughter. I feel like I have made sacrifices, and will continue too just so I can provide for her, love her, be there for her, and make sure she is happy, healthy, and safe.
I didn't plan to be a mother.. I wanted kids, but I never envisioned it happening this way.. would i change it? Not for anything in the world. But It is hard.. it is a struggle, and yes I am human and yes sometimes I want to throw my arms up and shout I give up! Someone take over! But I don't. I wont.
I hate when someone tries to tell you "your life isn't that hard" or "you have it easier than some people" or anything that goes along those lines.. I GET IT.
I'm not starving, I have a roof over my head, I have people that love me and support me, I have a great family, I have wonderful friends, and I have a sweet little girl that makes everything hard in my life worth it. BUT I still have bad days, even if someone else may have it worse.. I still get sad and angry for reasons that might seem small to someone who is angry and sad over something bigger. My feelings don't go away just because what I'm upset over may not upset someone else. It doesn't work that way.
I don't think I try and make a big deal out of everything, or blow everything out of proportion.. but I hate being told that I do! Why cant my feelings just be justified for once? When do they matter? Why do I always have to throw everything under the rug.. because heaven forbid I be angry or upset over something longer than an hour after it happened.
Words hurt. They stick with you, you remember them, and its not just easy to forget. They make you insecure, they really take a toll on you emotionally. No one likes to be told how horrible they are, be reminded of all the things they cant do, what they wont accomplish, or how hard its going to be. Think of being told those things numerous times along with name calling.. as hard as you try to talk yourself up, you start believing it. You start thinking you deserve it. I don't deserve it!
I sit here and write to somewhat release the hurt, I know people read what I write and the last thing I'm doing is trying to get some sort of sympathy.. I write because it helps. I want to look back and eventually say.. you know what, I'm so much stronger now than I was then, or look what Ive overcome.
You know when you call a certain company, or place of business and you get the automated answering service? You can speak your options, but it never understands you.. you have to keep repeating yourself or it ends up thinking you said one thing, when really you were screaming something entirely different for the last 5 minutes.. so eventually you just hang up, frustrated, and now nothing is resolved.... That's what life feels like sometimes.

................

4th of July weekend fun!

Since the 4Th landed on a Monday this year, we had three days to enjoy with our family and friends! To kick of the weekend my friend Robin had her baby girl Friday afternoon! I headed to the hospital after work to meet her.
Saturday was Alex's (Michael's brother) 16Th bday!! We enjoyed another Sletten bbq with tons of family and good food! We then headed home to pack and hurry out for a last minute over night camping trip with my friends at yuba lake! Harper did OK, but she was not a fan of sleeping without one of us in the tent. The next morning she enjoyed getting her feet wet, and getting covered in sand..

Harper admiring the fire!

Monday I got both my Children dressed up in Fourth of July colors.. I practically had to force Michael to put on a red shirt. haha But look how cute they are!!

We got some swimming in.. finally! I hate going to my crowded pool, and luckily we got to enjoy the pool to ourselves!
Harper loved cruising around in her little floaty boat.Michael wanted to try and go under water with her, which of course scared me to death!! But she enjoyed it.. no surprise there.. she isn't scared of much these days.

Next stop.. club house bbq.. Michael has awesome friends who are pretty much like a second family, getting together with them is always a good time, and everyone loves Harper.. Especially Riley, I can just see them running around together in a few years. Soo cute.

We then ended the night with another bbq and fire works with my friends at Robin and Jerome's house. Its nice that we can all get together and let the kids play. The men entertained themselves with beer and fireworks.. I think they were more excited then the kids! Its fun to see Harper interact with everyone.. especially Milo, who is closest in age to her.. they sat together at the kids table and shared their chips with each other.. twu wuv. haha

Don't mind the ever running nose.. She loved the fireworks!!






Me and Kiya, just 3 days old! I swear I dont remember Harper being this little.. and they were the exact same size.. they grow up way too fast. Im pretty sure Michael wanted to take her home.. he got a little baby hungry.. pretty sure he just liked the fact that she was sleeping and tiny and not throwing things and climbing on every object she could find! haha


Blurry picture.. but all the girls Watching fireworks.


the only stop we didn't make this year was down to Provo to visit my family.. but Harper was lucky and got to have a semi-sleep over with Grandma and Aunt Kenzi the next day while mom and dad went to a concert. :)

I love Holidays, and summer, and getting to do things with Harper, and I love our AMAZING friends.

:)

Feels like Christmas!

Last night as i was helping Michael take out the garbage.. I noticed this beauty just sitting there in the grass with a sign.. me hoping it said take me, take me! I told mike to take a look and if so to grab it! So this not so cute blue rocking chair is mine!! Ohhh the possibility's! I cant wait to paint it and make it cute!!

Although, Harper is a little big to be rocked to sleep anymore.. she would wiggle her way out of that one real fast! I think a rocking chair would be cute in the living room, or maybe I will keep it in Harper's room so we can sit and read all her books!

I love free stuff!! :)

P.S I don't think Michael has seen me more excited. haha

INK!

♥



Yesterday I went and got my second tattoo! Im so happy with how it turned out, and I would have never envisioned this on my own. I originally just wanted an owl, but The tattoo artist came up with this, and all I can say is im more than pleased with how it turned out!
Ernest from Death or Glory tattoo in Provo did an AMAZING job.

Now.. all I can say is it hurt like hell!! Worst spot ever.. right on the ribs. My other tattoo is on my other side.. ribs to hip.. but I don't remember it hurting this bad!! Three hours of laying there, sweating, digging my nails into my arm, and having to pee.. sounds fun right? hahaha it really wasnt that bad.. but I figure the next ones wont be as bad.. go big or go home!
I wanted to get one to represent Harper, my obsessions with owls started when i was planning her 1st bday... but i dont feel like this has any connection to her, so I will end up getting her birth date or name eventually.

I love love love it!

Summer Time!

This week we have spent a lot of time in the sun... Harper has loved the hose, and thinks its the best thing ever! Especially because she can drink from it. haha She really has no fear, she will get it all in her face, and be freezing and never cries. She loves it!!

She insisted on standing in the large bucket while it filled up..

Just like mama.. we wear our sunglasses while we cruise around.



Popsicle at Grandpa Joes..

We do have a pool at our apartment complex, but it gets crowded and there is no shallow end for Harper to play in, hopefully we can get her to the pool this weekend when it is less crowded. I love being able to spend time in Provo with my family so Harper has a nice big front yard to play in! Its so hard to just let her run around where we live. I love summer and all the fun things we can do, especially all the things we can do with Harper. :)